June 25, 2021

Sign Anthony Rendon, you cowards (Let’s Go Tribe)


Growing up as a whiny snot-nosed kid, I frequently asked my parents if we could go out to eat, despite the fact that I was a pretty lucky kid that got homemade meals just about every night of the week and we still went out a fair amount. I asked probably every single time we were in a car. Sometimes I would ask multiple times on any given drive — you know, just in case they changed their mind between Perkins and Eat’n Park on the way home. As a parent now, I don’t know how they didn’t just open a door and leave me in a parking lot somewhere to walk home so I’d stop asking.

One time, the first time I asked in this particular car ride, I distinctly remember my mom politely but excitedly told me that they opened a new restaurant in our neighborhood. There were burgers and pizza and a slide — it had everything! I just had to be good (read: quiet) until we got there and I could get whatever I wanted. I tried my hardest to picture where this restaurant was; surely I would’ve seen it at some point. I managed to convince myself I was sure I saw it where my neighbors house was, so I silently watched out the window with anticipation, ready to stuff my face with pizza…

Read “Sign Anthony Rendon, you cowards” at Let’s Go Tribe